Dialogue Overheard 7

I realized that I hadn’t explained what the Dialogue Overheard section is to newcomers, my apologies to those of you who picked up the school newspaper for the first time and stared in confusion as random quotes littered the page. This section comprises of a collection of funny and quirky quotes my peers and I hear throughout the weeks. I started recording quotes in 10th grade in hopes of providing students something they can laugh and bond over on a Friday afternoon. I hope to bring you the same joy that I experienced the first time I started this section 2 years ago. Thank you, and happy reading!

Key:

AP Psych = AP Psychology

APCSA = AP Computer Science A

AP Stats = AP Statistics

AP Lit = AP English Literature and Composition

• “Dude, my job is so boring, I need to make sure the kids don’t kill themselves.” - Senior Seminar

• “I appreciate my friendship, too.” - Senior Seminar

• "You see, there was no thinking. That's the issue right there." - AP Psych

• "You alright?" "Yeah, I just had a near death experience" - AP Psych

• “I want to remove my reticular formation.” - AP Psych

• “The two seasons are heatstroke and dust storm.” - AP Stats

• “You can beat me but you can’t beat my knowledge.” - Lunch

• “When you stop snorting oxygen, you have severe withdrawal.” - Morning Meeting

• “Minecraft? Come on, if you want to waste time, do it properly.” - APCSA

• “Let’s see if we can bring down the school’s internet.” - APCSA

• “You should be a lawyer, you’re good at finding loopholes in everything.” “That’s not what being a lawyer is about.” - APCSA

• “You just deployed Nebraska.” - APCSA

• "'We gave you the tools to success,' “Yes but I don't know how to use the tools." - AP Psych

• "My height in inches is higher than my IQ." - AP Psych

• "We all make mistakes." "I don't." - Math workroom

• “There’s koala milk that people drink.” - Advisory

• “You uninspired me." - AP Psych

• “I like to watch people get their hearts broken.” - Outside Tutoring Place

• “Have you heard of the starving games?” “Do you mean The Hunger Games?!” - Lunch

• "Is he dead?" "No, he's just probably playing with his cat." - AP Psych

• “I can’t believe he passed [the class].” “Neither can my mom.” - AP Lit

• “You seem so sad” “Yeah… I have 100 bagels in my car.” - AP Psych

• “I learn something new every time we take a test in this class” - AP Psych

• “Why are you tired? Is it the bagels?” “It can’t be the bagels, I’ve only had 9 today.” - AP Psych

• "I don't think stabbing is the answer to anything." "It was the answer to Caesar." "Fair enough." - Lunch

• “My adolescent cat did drugs last night.” - Outside Tutoring Club

• Someone zip tied another student’s backpack to the desk. - APCSA

• "If I see you licking a banana in the middle of the test, I'm calling the police." - AP Psych

• "I think you all will do well on the [AP exam]." The class burst out laughing. - [Unspecified class]

• “Not to brag, but if this was golf, I would have the highest score in the class.” - AP Lit

• “My life is a sham, don’t worry about it.” - Outside Tutoring Club

• “My brother is my retirement plan.” - Outside Tutoring Club

• “I hope something good happens to you.” “I don’t, builds character.” - Outside Tutoring Club

• “I really like you even though you got an F in my class, even though you were supposed to get an A.” - Outside Tutoring Club

• “I got a 20% on the physics summative with the curve.” - AP Stats

• “It sounds like someone dropped a seal downstairs.” - AP Stats

• “I have 3 tarantulas, I’m turning into a witch.” - Outside Tutoring Place

• “He was an amazing dog, he just wanted to fight everyone.” - Outside Tutoring Place

• “During Halloween, you walk around for hours to get an amount of candy you can go to the store and buy. During Thanksgiving, you sit for hours to eat an amount of food you definitely can't afford." - AP Stats

• “I lost my backpack!” “And your hair!” - APCSA

• “I’m gonna come.” “I hope to not see you.” - AP Lit

• “We used to have a duck but we ate it for Christmas, his name was Waddles.” - AP Lit

• “The car doesn’t have wings, you idiot!” - AP Stats

• “They’ve got propaganda for the Common App all over the walls!” - Passing period

• "The pun is ‘the steaks are too high.’" "That's every day in this class." - Unspecified class

• A student taught the class. - AP Psychology

• A kid ate an entire bag of spinach. - AP Bio

• “He is the worst person to be birthed.” - AP Stats

• “Please acknowledge your destruction.” - Civics

• “Aristocrats, aristocats, same thing.” “Well, one is a Disney movie and the other one is what we’re learning.” “You know what [REDACTED], one brought me joy and the other made me sad!” - AP Lit

• "All of last class, I destroyed a slinky." - Civics

• “That sounds like a woman’s name.” “YOU SEXIST PIG!” - Lunch

• A response to the Do Now: “The dog ate many kitchen appliances: the microwave, the refrigerator, and the Kitchenaid mixer.” - AP Lit

• A response to the Do Now: “Bruh moment: Boomer.” - AP Lit

• “There’s a German word for pleasure derived from driving a car.” - AP Stats

• “There’s a basketball court on the top of the Supreme court.” “For the 90 year old justices to play basketball?” - Civics

• “Why are you stealing chairs?” “I’ll bring it back, I swear.” - APCSA

• “Today we’re speaking British.” - AP Lit

• “You’re cheating! I didn’t know that was a thing!” - AP Psych

• Something is wrong for so long it’s not wrong anymore.” - AP Psych

• “Texting while driving can cause the same probability of an accident as drunk driving.” “So it’s better to drink then?” - AP Psych

• “Next thing you know, he’ll be telling the difference between organic milk and normal milk.” - Outside tutoring place

• “I don’t think frosty's have milk.” “This is why you’re a nerd.” - Outside tutoring place

• “That’s why I don’t look up any fast food stuff, because then I get disappointed in what I’ve eaten.” - Outside tutoring place

• “I need friends, what do you want from me?” - Outside tutoring place

• “I got the dog stuck on the roof.” “The dog is now an airplane.” - Outside tutoring plane

• “Hate’s a strong word, but not strong enough.” - Outside tutoring place

• “We need someone to come in early.” “I can come at four.” - Meeting

• "There's something called Target where they sell things for ready money." "Really?" "Yeah, you should try it." - Civics

• “I’m more fragile than a popsicle stick bridge.” - Lunch

• “I ran into a parked car and broke my leg.” - Lunch

• “Price discrimination is illegal.” “Unfortunately.” - Microeconomics

• "My hamster ate itself to death." - Advisory

• "There's something empowering about a chihuahua who's scared." - Civics

• "I was going to be disappointed, but I remembered it was you, so how can I be more disappointed?" - AP Lit

• "I thought I knew what I was doing, but I have been proven wrong on multiple occasions." - APCSA

• “Stop swinging around your pumpkin cat!” - Lunch

• "My phone is ringing, so everyone SHUT UP." - Teacher in unspecified class

• "If you go to the store and eat something without paying for it and then later go to the bathroom, is it technically stealing?" "No, but it would be the destruction of property.” - AP Psychology