Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20): You have been considering trying to do homework at home, instead of during morning check. Jupiter has aligned with every planet there is to tell you, Pisces, that you should probably try that out.
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19): Stop playing 2048 during class.
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20): Your journey to become a VSCO girl will be stunted by your lack of a metal straw. But do not fear. I suggest finding an alternative-alternative straw- such as red vines, or just drinking the water out of the bottle. Food for thought.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20): You might be feeling a bit overwhelmed, Gemini. Don’t worry, though. You’ve got the best friends in the world; use them.
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22): A great surprise awaits you at an upcoming Byers sports game. You must attend the next few home volleyball and soccer games to find it…
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22): You’ve been thinking about asking that special someone to Homecoming. The sun and the moon both say do it. Suggestion for sign: make it Parks and Rec themed. Or horoscopes themed!!!
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22): At the Blackout volleyball game during spirit week, you will find a new friend. This friendship will serve you well in the future.
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22): With Homecoming right around the corner, Saturn is telling me that you should probably brush up on your dance moves. Nothing wrong with the dougie… but…
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21): Your lack of gym credits has prompted you to fake going to South for… curling practice? Mr. Greif is disappointed. Do better.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21): You will very soon encounter a delicious snack. It may come in the form of a pouch. With multiple flavors… the most popular being… apple? (hint: it’s Go-go squeeze. Go-go squeeze is the snack).
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19): Look, the stars don’t judge. But I do. Stop staying up until 3am on school nights watching Netflix.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18): Please, please start studying for that one summative before the day it happens. You’ll see why later.